Tag Archives: bridezilla

Letters to the Bride : part quatre

Standard

#day7

Allah always test you in times of need and in times of happiness. Nothing escape His Eyes. I should be thankful that He chose me to send this trial to. I should be thankful it is nothing I cannot handle. I agree, I am only human.

Not too long ago, I am filled with desires. To me, these desires are mere desires. Nothing that could not happen. However, those that could have happened, did not. I went to the recent Ladies’ Night at AlQudwah Academy and the topic was apt. Very apt, about our desires. One question that lingered “what is your desire to get married?” But that is not the point in this post.

I was thinking back… all the things I had wanted and planned for. Some I had to let go, some almost went wrong, some I am trying to salvage, some I know I should just give up hope for.

I had wanted a zero-$ dowry because i hate having one to myself, plus the fact that I could not even have that favourite number of mine. I feel sad that I cried every night the entire week. So I told myself, I should not think about it. Let that be the one thing I have to comply with, as much as I wanted to lighten the burden of my husband-to-be. I am thankful, regardless.

On plans and agreements… When planning for a wedding, I have learnt that in most cases, we have to be respectful of others and in my case, sometimes, I have to let certain things go just so we don’t hurt others. There are times however, I cannot let certain things go. I have apologized for those things, but really, some things do and can get on my nerves. I want to be happy too and I want everyone to be happy too.

On “It’s okay. Ain is very understanding.” Yes, thank you very much. As much as I hate surprises, wait, I hate failed surprises and it is very hard to surprise me, I still love good surprises. I sniffed it but my busy schedule and stress probably killed it. Sadly, though, I have come to terms that I can only plan surprises for others. So, I guess, it is okay to not have any party afterall. And future BTBs shouldn’t be too sad too if there isn’t any party for them. You just have to tell yourself, you are the planner kind. So, it’s okay right?

So dearest Ain, things often don’t quite go your way. You should not feel stressed because of that. Acknowledge that people tried their best too. It is a gentle reminder that His way is the best. And He has planned the best for you ahead. I know I am saying this to make myself feel better. Well, if not myself, who will? 

One day, you will look back and realise that when everything’s over (the wedding, that is), things will go back to normal. A wedding is a one-off thing yet its memories last a lifetime for the bride and groom. Maybe that is why you tried your best to make the best out of it. If comes the time and things don’t quite go your way, you have to keep reminding yourself to smile.  (Wait, that, I am not quite sure. My face will give it away that I don’t like what I see.) Ok, control, at least? 

You see, Ain… You are writing to yourself to make yourself feel better. Let’s just leave it to Him shall we? Pray hard that everything will go as planned. We can only plan, but He is the best of all planners. Remember that. So that when things don’t go your way, you will always be thankful because I am pretty sure there is hikmah. But that does not mean people can use this as their excuse when things go wrong. 

Truth be told, I am scared. And all I ask from Our Beloved is strength for me to go through this week with peace of mind. I have my wedding DIYs and paperwork, I have ES paperwork, I have yet to prep myself for the interview tomorrow. I have not prepared myself for next Sunday.

O Beloved, You said, “la tahzan, innallaha ma’ana..” Don’t be sad, Allah is with you. So I shouldn’t right?

At the end of the day, as I look back and ponder… Maybe these trials and tribulations are sent to remind me the kind of wedding I had always wanted –  to keep things in moderation, at times, we must leave certain things we had also wanted.

Advertisements

Letters to the Bride

Standard

The days are numbered. I have so many things yet too little time and $$$. I got a little too stressed up to the point that “stress” is an understatement.

Will I turn into a bridezilla? I hope not. Maybe, writing can keep me sane momentarily.

As the date draws nearer, I couldn’t help but feel scared. I got too worried about the future and our finances. Not that I didn’t know people mocked at me when I decided to settle down just as I was done with my BA. I forgot what exactly was my intention to settle down. 

I forgot that my ibadah is only meant for Our Beloved, our Rabb. Hence this marriage is for Him. He has chosen for me a servant of His, and in return, I should obey continue be a good wife, daughter etc.

I forgot my intention of the wedding. True, they say it is meant for your parents and family. But it is also for me to do charity. Even so, my lack of finances is probably His reminder for my forgotten intention. To keep my wedding simple. 

So nearing the date if I ever got too stressed out again, I should read this post. And remind myself what my intention to get married and hold a wedding reception.

Dear Lord, most Merciful and most Forgiving, You are our sustainer. As such, whatever rizq You give us, it is sustainable. Ameen.