So here I am, in a well-known cafe, somewhere central of Singapore. Sitting alone, by the window, waiting for my souffle to arrive, I decided to write about how life’s been for me, a late twenties single lady.
I remember vividly a decade ago, I set some goals for myself. One of which was to settle down at the age of 27. Because I love the number 7. What do I know back then? Found a boyfriend I thought I would settle down with and you know go about life just like everyone else. But life took a twist on me. I got dump some 4 years after I had a boyfriend. Then soon, just before I started on my uni programme, Daddy left me due to diabetes. Since then, I shut my heart for i was too afraid to open it up for anyone.
People would wonder why is she telling her life story? Write a biography then! It was then when life taught me lessons I will never forget. About friendships, love, family, work and simply life. How to live life. Nope, there’s no need to keep reading those Huffingpost or Elitedaily stories. I admit, i read them too. In fact, I enjoy them too much. But those write ups are mere reminders for us to keep living life positively.
Life has changed a lot for me. I regard friendships as something very beautiful and sacred. Every friendship to me, lasts a lifetime. But little did i know, shit does happen and friendships go through its own phase of breakups too. That saddens me a lot. It was hard for me to move on. I have no idea why. When everything you treasure came crumbling down on you, that’s when you know you had to do something meaningful.
I took the easy way out. Return to the path of being Muslim. Well, a Muslim and being a Muslim are two different things altogether. I was Muslim but I neglect a lot of things, praying 5 times a day especially. I always forget or rather found excuses even on my clean days. Busy was the easiest excuse I gave. Until I couldn’t help myself – crying was too much and too tiring. I took ablution and performed a prayer. I cried my eyes out and poured all my feelings to my CReator. I felt relieved like one kind of relief. Like an instant burden lifted off my shoulders. Why had i neglected Him all these while? I wasn’t thankful as I said it out loud, I wasn’t as forgiving and I didn’t leave it to Him when I ask for things. THere wasn’t much faith in me.
Now, ten years down the road, I’m still trying to be Muslim – mannerism, way of life and everything else. I’m completing my degree programme by end of this year. I have small groups of friends that I love and know (and i hope ) will not leave me. Settle down at age 27? Nah… Allah has everything in store for me. I’m not ready to settle down. I love my singlehood too much to let go of this freedom as much as I know I want to find a partner and settle down.
And if you ever wonder if I have found the man yet? I think I have. And I am very sure Allah has set the right time for us to meet and fall in love in His name. For now, i’ll keep praying. Maybe he’s worth mentioning in my prayers. THere’s nothing more than to be thankful for everything that Allah has given me whether I deserve it or not. Alhamdulillah.
And finally, I finished my souffle.