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Well, I have been on a hiatus since my wedding! I have so many things to post! Our little-moon (that’s my mini honeymoon), my graduation, his award, our new home, our honeymoon… So many things! However, I am enjoying the littlest things. Making a big portion of my life private has been really great. Yet I also want to share the little good bits with my readers. The irony eh?

Seriously, ladies. Most times, keeping your life private is a lot better and more peaceful. There is no need to tell world your private little stories that are meant to be shared with your spouse. There is no need to broadcast every tiny details of your life. There is no need for frequent IG posts. But I don’t mind reading posts about interesting things that happen in my friends’ lives.

Until then!




How i memorised the Qur’an in 4 months.


Fadhil Azman's

Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for the blessings He constantly gives. I asked Allah to always ease my affairs in revising the Qur’an & give me the means to share with and inspire others(?)

I’d like to make it clear that I have memorised around 9 juzu’ in all the years in my primary school, secondary & pre-uni. So it was kind of memorising 20 plus new juzu’ and revising back the other 9 during these 4 months. I am also not having any commitments other than birrul walidain(doing good to parents) hehe. But by Allah, those who have the intention and desire to memorise the Qur’an for Allah, He will make it easy for you insyaAllah. This is, from my experience.

Below are my tips ;

1- Purify your intentions. 

This is the utmost important point that one should always be mindful of, do it sincerely for the sake of Allah. Hoping for His mercy, obtaining His pleasure &…

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The Migraine of Every Wedding


The past weeks have been busy and crazy.. Scouring for caterers to fit our theme and menus. Especially if you are not the kind to be efficient in information retrieval at the last minutes. Considering that we decided to get married in 6 months (then was in March), now we’re left with about 4 months. Finding a caterer around this timeline means one cannot be too picky.

Point to note: This is where the bulk of your savings goes to. (Unless your parents set up a wedding fund for you. Don’t laugh, some of my friends’ parents did it for them.) And also the migraine of every wedding.

As our reception is a little twist from the typical Malay wedding reception, it was quite hard finding the right caterer. I took notes of the caterers names when I attend wedding functions. But I feel that it’s quite useless now that time and budget is not a luxury for us. I mean, names like Farzana, Puteri and Charisma are usually fully booked. Another thing we faced was the caterers we inquired with, cannot change their package! Some couples want hassle free all in package. Ok fine. But there are others who probably want some things here and there. We have a little DIYs and 2 different menus to cater to different social circles, namely our families and relatives and friends and colleagues.

I was adamant and stood my ground. The me that anyone know probably would not mind going with what’s best. But I felt that this time, I needed to say what I needed to say. I stood my ground on the reasons why our initial plan should stay as is. Besides, I am very sure that this 2-menus reception can be done. I have faith in the caterers but sadly, being typical Melayu, either they’re not very keen on the idea (most caterers said it’s very troublesome when buying the ingredients whereas others just quoted “pricey like it’s 2 different receptions”.). I became almost hopeless. I cannot imagine the super long queue for food and the kendarats having to keep topping up food. I cannot imagine people becoming flustered and annoyed. I cannot imagine myself not being happy when others are not.

For awhile, I gave up looking for anymore. I had found some halal caterers like those that serve during contact times and school events. Food will taste A-okay and probably some, like NS food. Yup, I resorted to that. I had wanted to support our Malay community caterers but look, with those kinda remarks like “leceh”.. “dah macam 2 majlis..”. I just cannot. But I guess, God loves us. He heard our pleas and answered our prayers. We found one, a family friend, who offered to cater for our wedding. A bit of my migraine went away when the caterer said she could do with 2 different menus. THAT WAS SUCH A RELIEF! 

I know it can be done. If once a upon a time in the early millennium, some weddings had a small lunch reception after the solemnization the later at night followed by dinner, I do not see why my 2 menus seemed “leceh” to some. We foresee a lot of guests yet we do not want to compromise on food, therefore we thought having 2 menus is a good idea. After last night’s meet up with the caterer at our venue, I felt better. The caterer listened to our needs and as much as possible both parties came up with a proper solution for the reception without changing much of the bride’s and groom’s needs.  And I can safely say now that I am looking forward to our big day!

P/s: I do not know if my 2-menu reception is going to be a good one. I really hope it will be a smooth-sailing one. I hope i do not cause a lot of trouble for my caterer, I hope my guests will be happy and I hope everything will go well.

Life as a late twenties single lady.


So here I am, in a well-known cafe, somewhere central of Singapore. Sitting alone, by the window, waiting for my souffle to arrive, I decided to write about how life’s been for me, a late twenties single lady.

I remember vividly a decade ago, I set some goals for myself. One of which was to settle down at the age of 27. Because I love the number 7. What do I know back then? Found a boyfriend I thought I would settle down with and you know go about life just like everyone else. But life took a twist on me. I got dump some 4 years after I had a boyfriend. Then soon, just before I started on my uni programme, Daddy left me due to diabetes. Since then, I shut my heart for i was too afraid to open it up for anyone.

People would wonder why is she telling her life story? Write a biography then! It was then when life taught me lessons I will never forget. About friendships, love, family, work and simply life. How to live life. Nope, there’s no need to keep reading those Huffingpost or Elitedaily stories. I admit, i read them too. In fact, I enjoy them too much. But those write ups are mere reminders for us to keep living life positively.

Life has changed a lot for me. I regard friendships as something very beautiful and sacred. Every friendship to me, lasts a lifetime. But little did i know, shit does happen and friendships go through its own phase of breakups too. That saddens me a lot. It was hard for me to move on. I have no idea why. When everything you treasure came crumbling down on you, that’s when you know you had to do something meaningful.

I took the easy way out. Return to the path of being Muslim. Well, a Muslim and being a Muslim are two different things altogether. I was Muslim but I neglect a lot of things, praying 5 times a day especially. I always forget or rather found excuses even on my clean days. Busy was the easiest excuse I gave. Until I couldn’t help myself – crying was too much and too tiring. I took ablution and performed a prayer. I cried my eyes out and poured all my feelings to my CReator. I felt relieved like one kind of relief. Like an instant burden lifted off my shoulders. Why had i neglected Him all these while? I wasn’t thankful as I said it out loud, I wasn’t as forgiving and I didn’t leave it to Him when I ask for things. THere wasn’t much faith in me.

Now, ten years down the road, I’m still trying to be Muslim – mannerism, way of life and everything else. I’m completing my degree programme by end of this year. I have small groups of friends that I love and know (and i hope ) will not leave me. Settle down at age 27? Nah… Allah has everything in store for me. I’m not ready to settle down. I love my singlehood too much to let go of this freedom as much as I know I want to find a partner and settle down.

And if you ever wonder if I have found the man yet? I think I have. And I am very sure Allah has set the right time for us to meet and fall in love in His name. For now, i’ll keep praying. Maybe he’s worth mentioning in my prayers. THere’s nothing more than to be thankful for everything that Allah has given me whether I deserve it or not. Alhamdulillah.


And finally, I finished my souffle.

10 Reasons Why Traveling Makes You A Better Person


There’s nothing better than learning to be alone, if you haven’t done so. You will learn to appreciate even the littlest things, the littlest gestures and kindness around you. For me, I get to do things my way and I don’t have to rush. I take things slow and enjoy everything I don’t get to see in my own country. Whilst most female travelers worry about safety, I believe that Allah is always with me wherever I go. But that does not mean I do not take precaution measures.

Travel alone. It’ll not only clear your mind, it’ll cleanse your soul.

Thought Catalog

If you have the opportunity to pack your bags and go, do it. Go alone if you have to.

Don’t do it for vacation. Don’t do it for luxury. Don’t do it to take pictures for your Instagram account. Do it because it will make you a better person.

And here’s why:

Screen Shot 2013-10-24 at 11.37.43 AM

1. Learning to be alone.

Have lunch with yourself. Sit with your thoughts and be okay with them, whatever they are. Love yourself whole-heartedly, especially in times of solitude. And when you think you can’t sit alone any longer, order coffee and a dessert.

2. Relying on the kindness of strangers.

Foreignness does not prevent random acts of kindness. Accept them. Give them. Appreciate them.

3. Learning to live with less.

This does not mean claiming hardship. Let this manifest in small ways. Recognize your…

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OST Sahabat

malam sunyi menemani sepiku
bintang berkelip tabahkan hati gugup
indah bulan menyuluh gelap malam
indah dirimu bagai bintang di syurga

kabus pagi menghalang pandanganku
terus berlari mengejar impianku
cita-cita, cinta dan juga harapan
tinggi gunung mustahil untuk kugapai

tapi dengan keberanian
mimpimu akan bermakna

sahabat usah gentar menggapai bintang
walaupun diri tak terdaya
menyerah kalah terus berdiri
berlari dan mengejar harapan


Salam dunia!


Salam dunia!

The name’s Esmerelda. There’s nothing special about me. I’m just like everyone else. A dreamer always full of imagination, an aspiring writer and a hijabista. Friends and family think I’m suffering from quarter life crisis – being single and always busy with work and studies, leaving no time for myself. I’m fine; at least that’s what I think.

What ignite the interest to blog again? Let’s just say, age is catching up on life. Hence, I feel the need to pen, or rather type my thoughts out – talk about topics we are familiar with, share interesting recipes, update on music and fashion and keep encouraging others to do good. I don’t have specific target audience. Sometimes I talk crap, just to fill my time before I get busy. Sometimes, I will pen down thoughts I’d hope to share.

So, until my next post!